Sexual abuse can be an uncomfortable topic, but it is an important one. Education on this topic is lacking, especially in religious conservative circles. As a society, we often misinterpret sexual abuse as only extreme or violent acts. And while sexual abuse may certainly include physical acts of force, it can also occur through manipulation and coercion. Stereotypes about sexual assault, abuse, and rape can keep us from seeing it in our own lives and the lives of those we care about.
So, what is sexual violence?
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) uses the term sexual violence as “an all-encompassing, non-legal term that refers to crimes like sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse.” While there are many different types of sexual violence, one thing is consistent: there isn’t a stereotypical victim or perpetrator. So, throw what you picture in your head out the window. In real life, sexual violence is not like movies or novels. It’s not always perpetrated by a stranger in an alleyway at night. In fact, according to RAINN 80% of rapes are actually committed by someone the victim knows. Let's break this down into some key terms:
1. Sexual Assault
Sexual assault is a term that is often thrown around and is defined differently by each state. The National Center for Victims Crime defines sexual assault as involving, “a wide range of unwanted sexual behaviors that are performed against a person’s will, or when a person is unable to give consent because of their age, disability, level of intoxication, or other reasons. Each state uses a different legal definition to describe the abusive sexual acts. Many states include the following acts in their definitions: forced sexual intercourse, forced oral or anal sexual acts, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape.”
2. Sexual Coercion
Unlike sexual assault, sexual coercion is a term we don't often see. Contrary to what we might think you don't have to be physically forced into a sex act for it to be abusive. The Office of Women’s Health defines sexual coercion as “unwanted sexual activity that happens when you are pressured, tricked, threatened, or forced in a nonphysical way. Coercion can make you think you owe sex to someone.”
If you’ve experienced these things above, let me just say: it’s not your fault, you’re not “dirty,” and it’s okay to mourn what happened to you.
Understanding the immense impact sexual coercion and assault can have on your physical and emotional health is important - and it’s the first step in healing. But one of the most important things to understand is that you are not less than because of what happened. Christianity teaches that our purity is not a result of our personal actions or the actions of others. Our purity is a result of Christ’s work on the cross. If you are in Christ, each day is new. You cannot earn your value. What you do and what’s done to you does not determine your worth.
You are not alone. You are loved.
If you have experienced or are experiencing anything that was said above, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 for confidential support.
Leah Busler
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