Abuse can take many forms in relationships. For one college girl, it took the form of digital abuse. The following story is based on true events, and the names of the people were changed to protect their true identities.
Annie and Blake were the most popular couple on their college campus, and all who knew them thought that they had the perfect relationship. However, what people did not know was how unhealthy their relationship actually was.
Not long after dating, Blake became very controlling and verbally abusive. After drinking at parties, he bombarded Annie with texts and threatened to break up with her if she did not respond. She called him back sobbing, and he told her, “It is okay baby, just don’t do it again.”
Further into their relationship, Blake asked Annie for inappropriate pictures and told her, “Come on Annie, every girl sends pictures to her boyfriend.” After she sent him the pictures, he showed them to his friends. When she confronted Blake about this he told her, “I am sorry babe. I won’t do it again.”
However, he lied and continued to show the pictures to other people. Annie was confused by his actions but kept telling herself, “It is okay, what he is doing is not that big of a deal. I love him, and he loves me.”
However, this is not love and is not what a loving relationship looks like. Annie has fallen victim to digital abuse.
What is digital abuse?
The Domestic Abuse Hotline describes digital abuse as “the use of technologies such as texting and social networking to bully, harass, stalk or intimidate a partner. Often this behavior is a form of verbal or emotional abuse perpetrated online.”
Digital abuse is dangerous because you can easily become a victim of it without ever realizing it.
What does digital abuse look like?
Digital abuse can take on many forms. For Annie, she was abused verbally through texting and sexting. However, these are not the only forms of digital abuse. According to Office of Women's Health, digital abuse can include the following:
· Repeated unwanted calls or texts
· Harassment on social media
· Pressure to send nude or private pictures (called “sexting”)
· Using texts or social media to check up on you, insult you, or control whom you can see or be friends with
· Demanding your passwords to social media sites and email
· Demanding that you reply right away to texts, emails, and calls
No one should ever feel pressured or manipulated into doing something they do not want to do, especially by someone who supposedly cares for and claims to love them. If you have fallen victim to any type of abuse, know that it is not your fault. Do not let your past or your current relationships define you.
You are worthy, forgiven, truly loved, and set free by Jesus Christ our Lord.
If you are someone you know is experiencing digital abuse call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential support.
Ashley Lovins
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